Another story~ /Random

[Dai]

First post...
Mein Deutsch ist nicht das beste.. mou, also nicht wundern x_x;
Das ist nur eins von meinen langweiligen und nicht beonders guten sachen... jah, Ich hätte gerne tipps... oder einen ratschlag ob es gleich in richtung Trashcan soll? ^_^v


the day when fall came again, you didn't know how to smile
when we met the first time, the cold breeze hit our laughing faces
though now, life is still going on, come, let's go, I'll find you
and the next vivid life is already waiting for you

[come, let's walk towards the setting sun]

you already know me, found me with another heart, though...
I'm still living the same life, same eyes are watching you
the song is silent, playing as the leaves fall, I'll lead you
when we're gone from here, we'll live again

[over the sadened sky, past the red moon]

laugher filling the evening in 2006, another year is gone,
watching your picture, hey, you're still miles away
every word you wrote before, in my heart, it's burried
please, the midnightsun is shining down on us tonight

[]calling your name, I knew I found you[]

waking up, on another cold morning
holding on, tightly gripping onto your necklace~

 

[StayTuned]

willkommen am board. ich mach mich mal ran

the day when fall came again "the day fall began" evtl "A sunny day and/on that fall began" nur als vorschlag, you didn't know how to smile
when we met the first time the first time we met, the cold breeze hit our laughing faces
though now, life is still going on, come, let's go,
I'll find you and the next vivid life is already waiting for you das nächste lebendige leben? was willst du damit sagen?

[come, let's walk towards the setting sun]

you already know me, found me with another heart, though... zeitwechsel beabsichtigt?
I'm still living the same life, same eyes are watching you
the song is silent, playing as the leaves fall nett!, I'll lead you
when we're gone from here, we'll live again

[over the sadened saddened sky, past the red moon] "pass" meinst du oder?

laugher filling fills imho the evening in 2006, another year is gone,
watching your picture, hey, you're still miles away
every word you wrote before, in my heart, it's burried
please, the midnightsun is shining down on us tonight

[]calling your name, I knew I found you[]

waking up, on another cold morning
holding on, tightly gripping onto your necklace~

kann dir sehr schlcht folgen folgen. es geht um den lyrisches ich und eine frau?
räumlich getrennt und im geist verbunden?
evtl bringt ne erklärung klarheit. schieß los
zum anderen solltest du deinen text in eine vernünftige form bringen so dass wir uns etwas leichter tun beim lesen.

 

[Mich0r]

the day when fall came again, you didn't know how to smile
when we met the first time, the cold breeze hit our laughing faces when we met for the first time OR the first time we met
throughout now, life is still going on, come, let's go, I'll find you
and the next vivid life is already waiting for you Don't know what this is supposed to mean?!

[come, let's walk towards the setting sun]

you already know me, found me with another heart, though...
I'm still living the same life, same eyes are watching you
the song is silent, playing as the leaves fall, I'll lead you
when we're gone from here, we'll live again

[over the sadened sky, past the red moon] past with the same meaning as beyond? Or past as already over?

laughter filling the evening in 2006, another year is gone,
watching your picture, hey, you're still miles away Shes away from you...
every word you wrote before, in my heart, it's burried
please, the midnightsun is shining down on us tonight ...and still the moon shines on both of you ?(or on her in a completely different place?)

[]calling your name, I knew I found you[]Here she's with you again

waking up, on another cold morning
holding on, tightly gripping onto your necklace~

Ich machs dir mal leichter und antworte dir in Englisch

What you want to express is that you once met a girl. Back then it was fall i guess. But i don't understand if you and this girl are still together or if you were seperatetd, if you left her, if she left you...a.s.o.
And the person in the text hasn't changed, which is possibly a handycap for their relationship?
But as a contrats to this: she "found you with another heart" but your eyes are still the same?
I think you can see what people are like through there eyes, so when the heart changes, your eyes will change.

I think the text is good, but i can't really get the hang of it. Maybe you can explain to us what the text is supposed to express.

 

[Dai]

willkommen am board. ich mach mich mal ran

Zitat von Dai


the day when fall came again, you didn't know how to smile
when we met the first time, the cold breeze hit our laughing faces when we met for the first time OR the first time we met
throughout now, life is still going on, come, let's go, I'll find you
and the next vivid life is already waiting for you Don't know what this is supposed to mean?! "Das nächste lebenswichtige Leben wartet shon auf dich--> in dem sinne, dass as jetztige leben einfach "verschwendet" wurde^_^;

[come, let's walk towards the setting sun]

you already know me, found me with another heart, though...
I'm still living the same life, same eyes are watching you
the song is silent, playing as the leaves fall, I'll lead you
when we're gone from here, we'll live again

[over the sadened sky, past the red moon] past with the same meaning as beyond? Or past as already over?Same meaning as beyond ^o^

laughter filling the evening in 2006, another year is gone,
watching your picture, hey, you're still miles away Shes away from you...I didn't want to write she all the tiome, because.. well.. I didn't want to mention that it's a "she" too much._.
every word you wrote before, in my heart, it's burried
please, the midnightsun is shining down on us tonight ...and still the moon shines on both of you ?(or on her in a completely different place?)Diffrent place^_^

[]calling your name, I knew I found you[]Here she's with you again Found you, lon ago ^_^

waking up, on another cold morning
holding on, tightly gripping onto your necklace~

Arigatoooo!*bow*^_^
Ah, I like confusing things, that's why I never want to be too clear with what I write.^_^
Ah, I never was togeter with the girl, I just met he, we were close freinds^_^
True._. I didn't think of that, but it was meant to, be like you know, if you're reborn, find me in your other life? And She kinda..died to me, and now I found her again, but thinngs went all the same way again.
It's justsupposed to show the feelings of a confused heart ^_^
Thank you very much!

 

[Dai]

Zitat von Dai

the day when fall came again "the day fall began"ah, danke! Das klingt besser^_^ evtl "A sunny day and/on that fall began" nur als vorschlag, you didn't know how to smile
when we met the first time the first time we met, the cold breeze hit our laughing faces
though now, life is still going on, come, let's go,
I'll find you and the next vivid life is already waiting for you das nächste lebendige leben? was willst du damit sagen?

[come, let's walk towards the setting sun]

you already know me, found me with another heart, though... zeitwechsel beabsichtigt?yepp^_^
I'm still living the same life, same eyes are watching you
the song is silent, playing as the leaves fall nett!, I'll lead you
when we're gone from here, we'll live again

[over the sadened saddened sky, past the red moon] "pass" meinst du oder?wie in beyond._.

laugher filling fills imho the evening in 2006, another year is gone,
watching your picture, hey, you're still miles away
every word you wrote before, in my heart, it's burried
please, the midnightsun is shining down on us tonight

[]calling your name, I knew I found you[]

waking up, on another cold morning
holding on, tightly gripping onto your necklace~


kann dir sehr schlcht folgen folgen. es geht um den lyrisches ich und eine frau?
räumlich getrennt und im geist verbunden?
evtl bringt ne erklärung klarheit. schieß los
zum anderen solltest du deinen text in eine vernünftige form bringen so dass wir uns etwas leichter tun beim lesen.


Erstmal, danke^_____^
mein deusch ist nicht so toll, aber ich versuch mein bestes x_x
Genau^_^räumlich getrennt undim Geist verbunden...das war der gedanke bei der sache ._.
vernuenftige form? ^_^;;;

Ah..d.er gedanke mit dem ganzen... es war einfach nur so, das ich die gedanken von einem verwirrtem menschen auf blatt haben wollte, und da kam ich mir gerade gelegen ._.



__________________
Arigato!^_^

 

[alihatnix]

is this it?
no
this sucks

 

[juan]

is this it?
no
this sucks

Wow, du scheinst tatsächlich ein begnadeter Songwriter zu sein. Wie sonst solltest du ohne die Texte zu lesen, sie beurteilen können?

 

[Mich0r]

is this it?
no
this sucks

Boah bist du direkt.
Ich finde das wirklich toll von dir! Ich meine die meisten Leute können einem sowas nicht ins Gesicht sagen, weißt du. Also, das ist schon eine Fähigkeit an dir, die man dir hoch anrechnen soltle, meinst du nicht auch?
Aber ich hab ne Idee: Schreib du mal nen richtigen fetzigen Text der nicht saugt, damit wir auch mal so richtig schön auf die Kacke hauen können!Schütte einfach mal dein großes Herz aus, schlage im Wörterbuch noch einige andere englische Phrasen nach, außer "this sucks" (aber das bot sich natürlich an, nicht wahr?) und gib's und, Baby
Wär das was? Ich find' das wäre was !