(Work Titel) Pay Attention..

[Purzel]

Hmm hab noch keinen Namen für den Song.

Hier der Text

1.Strophe:

There are so many things that never came true..
There are so many things went bad.
and worse...

There were so many promises failed.
There were so few nice words
Only need some affection.
ooh some affection

And always when I need some of your warmth
It's like some ice cube slipping in my back
The coldness of the word hits me like
a bullet in my chest

There were so many promises failed.
There were so few nice words
Only need some affection.
ooh some affection


Refrain:

Hey pay attention!
do you hear me?
hey pay attention!
you're laughing about me?

get you gone and leave me alone
you'll never understand me
so its the best when you just get you gone!
just get you gone!

2. Strophe

There were so many nice words i said to you
you said "oh how sweet" but you gave a damn about
I've made you such nice presents

but you gave a damn about
and now the only thing i can think is
COnfound you! I dont like to see you again!

Bridge:

And always when I needed some of your warmth
It was like some ice cube slipping in my back
The coldness of the word hits me like
a bullet in my chest

Refrain:

Hey pay attention!
do you hear me?
hey pay attention!
you're laughing about me?

get you gone and leave me alone
you'll never understand me
so its the best when you just get you gone!
just get you gone!


Interlude:

And now you are away from me
My head is free of this self-pity
the pressure releases
and I feel good, yes I feel very very good

Overthere in this bar
there is someone else i could love
someone else i could love

Kehrrefrain:

Hey sweet girl!
Do you hear me?
Hey sweet girl!
I like your eyes
You don't mind to meet?

come with me and be happy
I know you'll understand me
so its the best when you just come with me
just come with me


Der Song geht darum, dass die freundin einen überhaupt nicht beachtet, was einem sehr wehtut... Man wischt ihr eins aus, indem man ihr damit sagt, dass es auch noch andre mädels auf der welt gibt, die besser sind... hmm schlechte beschreibung einfach mal durchlesen

 

[wilbour-cobb]

da sind eine menge sprachliche sachen drin, die du nochmal überarbeiten solltest. ich markier die einfach mal ohne da rücksicht auf takt und reim zu nehmen, wie man die nachher korrigiert wird man sehen, ich helfe da gerne.

Hier der Text

1.Strophe:

There are so many things that never came true..
There are so many things went bad.
das "there are" am anfang ist zu viel, du leitest damit einen relativsatz ein, dann braucht es auch ein "that".
and worse...

There were so many promises failed.
hier das gleiche, nur würde man diese aussage nicht in einen relativsatz packen. und in einem normalen satz, steht das substantiv nach dem objekt, also "..failed promises"
There were so few nice words
Only need some affection.
ooh some affection

And always when I need some of your warmth
It's like some ice cube slipping in my back
"slipping down.." wäre deutlicher, deine idee ist aber nicht falsch
The coldness of the word hits me like
a bullet in my chest

There were so many promises failed.
s.o.
There were so few nice words
Only need some affection.
ooh some affection


Refrain:

Hey pay attention!
do you hear me?
hey pay attention!
you're laughing about me?
also frage immer mit "are you.." beginnen

get you gone and leave me alone
you'll never understand me
so its the best when you just get you gone!
just get you gone!

2. Strophe

There were so many nice words i said to you
you said "oh how sweet" but you gave a damn about
"about it"
I've made you such nice presents


but you gave a damn about
and now the only thing i can think is
"think of.." eigentlich
COnfound you! I dont like to see you again!
das "I don't like.." ist sehr ungewöhnlich, "don't want" wäre deutlicher

Bridge:

And always when I needed some of your warmth
It was like some ice cube slipping in my back
The coldness of the word hits me like
a bullet in my chest
besser "into", am besten wäre aber "like a bullet hits my chest"

Refrain:

Hey pay attention!
do you hear me?
hey pay attention!
you're laughing about me?
s.o.

get you gone and leave me alone
you'll never understand me
so its the best when you just get you gone!
just get you gone!


Interlude:

And now you are away from me
würde man so nicht sagen, eher "now you are gone" oder sowas in die richtung
My head is free of this self-pity
the pressure releases
and I feel good, yes I feel very very good

Over _there in this bar
there is someone else i could love
eigentlich "fall in love with" - "to love" ist eher was mehr körperliches, in bestimmten zusammenhängen....
someone else i could love

Kehrrefrain:

Hey sweet girl!
Do you hear me?
Hey sweet girl!
I like your eyes
You don't mind to meet?

come with me and be happy
I know you'll understand me
so its the best when you just come with me
just come with me

 

[Purzel]

So ich habs ein wenig verbessert...
In den Ferien denkt man ja nicht so viel nach Da kommen so Fehler...

1.Strophe:

There are so many things that never came true..
There are so many things that went bad.
and worse...

(There were)so many failed promises .
There were so few nice words
Only need some affection.
ooh some affection

And always when I needed some of your warmth
It was like some ice cube slipping down in my back
The coldness of the word...
Its like a bullet hits my chest

(There were)so many failed promises .
There were so few nice words
Only need some affection.
ooh some affection


Refrain:

Hey pay attention!
do you hear me?
hey pay attention!
are you laughing about me?

get you gone and leave me alone
you'll never understand me
so its the best when you just get you gone!
just get you gone!

2. Strophe

There were so many nice words i said to you
you said "oh how sweet" but you gave a damn about it
I've made you such nice presents


but you gave a damn about
and now the only thing i think of is
Confound you! I dont want to see you again!


Bridge:

And always when I needed some of your warmth
It was like some ice cube slipping down in my back
The coldness of the word...
Its like a bullet hits my chest


Refrain:

Hey pay attention!
do you hear me?
hey pay attention!
are you laughing about me?

get you gone and leave me alone
you'll never understand me
so its the best when you just get you gone!
just get you gone!


Interlude:

And now you are gone
My head is free of this self-pity
the pressure releases
and I feel good, yes I feel very very good

Over there in this bar
there is someone else i could fall in love with
someone else i could love

Kehrrefrain:

Hey sweet girl!
Do you hear me?
Hey sweet girl!
I like your eyes
You don't mind to meet?

come with me and be happy
I know you'll understand me
so its the best when you just come with me
just come with me

 

[desgraca]

ok, dann hab ich auch nochn paar verbesserungen,,

1.Strophe:

There are so many things that never came true..
There are so many things that went bad.
and worse...

(There were)so many failed promises .
There were so few nice words
Only need some affection.
ooh some affection

And always when I needed some of your warmth
and whenever i needed (always when sagt man nicht)
It was like some ice cube slipping down in my back
The coldness of the word...
Its like a bullet hits my chest
hitting

(There were)so many failed promises .
There were so few nice words
Only need some affection.
ooh some affection


Refrain:

Hey pay attention!
do you hear me?
hey pay attention!
are you laughing about me?
are you laughing at me (auslachen)

get you gone and leave me alone
you'll never understand me
so its the best when you just get you gone!
just get you gone!

2. Strophe

There were so many nice words i said to you
you said "oh how sweet" but you gave a damn about it
I've made you such nice presents


but you gave a damn about
about it /about them
and now the only thing i think of is
Confound you! I dont want to see you again!


Interlude:

And now you are gone
My head is free of this self-pity
the pressure releases
and I feel good, yes I feel very very good

Over there in this bar
at this bar
there is someone else i could fall in love with
someone else i could love

Kehrrefrain:

Hey sweet girl!
Do you hear me?
Hey sweet girl!
I like your eyes
You don't mind to meet?
öh,,,,,öh,,,,,soll das heißen "wolln wir uns mal treffen?",,,,,,,"can i ask you out on a date?"

come with me and be happy
I know you'll understand me
so its the best when you just come with me
just come with me

 

[Purzel]

1.Strophe:

There are so many things that never came true..
There are so many things that went bad.
and worse...

(There were)so many failed promises .
There were so few nice words
Only need some affection.
ooh some affection

And whenever I needed some of your warmth

It was like some ice cube slipping down in my back
The coldness of the word...
Its like a bullet hitting my chest

(There were)so many failed promises .
There were so few nice words
Only need some affection.
ooh some affection


Refrain:

Hey pay attention!
do you hear me?
hey pay attention!
are you laughing at me?


get you gone and leave me alone
you'll never understand me
so its the best when you just get you gone!
just get you gone!

2. Strophe

There were so many nice words i said to you
you said "oh how sweet" but you gave a damn about it
I've made you such nice presents


but you gave a damn about
about it /about them
and now the only thing i think of is
Confound you! I dont want to see you again!


Interlude:

And now you are gone
My head is free of this self-pity
the pressure releases
and I feel good, yes I feel very very good

Over there in this bar
at this bar
there is someone else i could fall in love with
someone else i could love

Kehrrefrain:

Hey sweet girl!