Popsong (englisch): You are my wife!

[Georg86]

Hallo,

ich habe einen Popsong geschrieben. Die Strophen sind melancholisch (aber nicht düster), der Refrain, Bridge und Solo sind ziemlich fröhlich geraten. Die Musik dazu steht bereits, werde sie demnächst hochladen...
Es geht um einen Mann, der seine Hochzeit als größten Fehler seines Lebens erkennt und letztendlich die Reißleine zieht.. So in etwa das Gegenstück zu Bruno Mars' "Marry You" (Die Stimme würde auch ganz gut zum Song passen)

Bitte sagt mir, wie es euch im Allgemeinen gefällt. Bin mir auch bei bestimmten Formulierungen (Grammatik) nicht sicher, ob das im Englischen so gebräuchlich ist - diese Passagen habe ich unterstrichen dargestellt. Vielleicht könnt ihr auch hierzu was sagen?
Danke schonmal..

Hier der Text:

You are my wife


Strophe 1
I was a lucky man.. so
In love with you
My love was true
I had no clue...
This heaven's gonna end as soon as it began..
Please marry me!
You did agree
I couldn't see...
It all was just a trap, and such a....


Überleitung 1
...Malicious game
A crying shame
You took my name.. but
We're not the same… not the same.. no..

A piece of gold
Someone to hold
I was not told
It feels so cold.. you're so cold… now

Refrain
You are my wife
You should bring light to my life… so… why
Why do you thrill me and kill me with words that are
Sharp as a knife

You are my bride
You are my all and my pride.. and .. I
I feel so good and so fine that I'm looking for
Some place to hide

Strophe 2
You try to bother me... say
I don't give enough
I'm never tough
This isn't love...
Why did you take my hand
If I am not your man
You just behave
Like I'm your slave
I don't feel save
I'd love to be alone again 'cause..

Überleitung 2:
This can't be right
It seemed so bright
Today we fight,
On different sides.. different sides… yeah


A piece of gold
Someone to hold
I was not told
It feels so cold.. you're so cold… now


Refrain

Solo

Bridge
I bought a car
It will take me far
Far away from you
All is fresh and new
This is what I'll do… ooooooh

Refrain 2
You were my wife
You brought no light to my life… and … you
Tried to thrill me and kill me with words that were
Sharp as a knife

You were my wife
I have a license to drive
So I'll jump in my car today
Leave you, go far away
To come back to life

Solo 2 (Outro)