Obsession

[FollowTheHollow]

hoi leutz, ich bin ja eigentlich kein Sänger, aber der Thread hier scheint mir perfekt um meine selbst geschriebenen Texten zu posten. Ich würd gerne mal n paar meinungen von euch hören (Kritik - Lob - Tipps etc.)
Meine fragen an euch : sind n paar sachen vllt übertrieben?versteht man manche textzeilen net? gibs irgendwo keine sinnvollen gedankenverknüpfungen? oda sowas in der art...
n kleine frage am rande: findet ihr, der text passt zu ner Metal-/Emocore-Band?könnt ja eure antworten vllt begründen...


Obsession


Refr.:
tell me why i should love you
tell me why i should kiss you
all this ignorance to me
tell me why i should be there for you

you wrote many letters
in ev'ry letter you told me,how much you love me
you told me 'bout your life and about your fetters
so tell me,why i should be there

In a dark cold night you told me about your pain
about your cries in ev'ry night
all these morbid thoughts in your brain
so tell me why i should be the light
tell me why i should help you

Refr.:
tell me why i should love you
tell me why i should kiss you
all this ignorance to me
tell me why i should be there for you


kissin' your lips on a sunny day
kissin' your lips by a sunny way
suddenly there was a storm in your brain
all these morbid thoughts
all these stupid words you said
so tell me why i should help you

ev'ry day you told me about your wounds
ev'ry minute this pain inside my head
you couldn't cross your bounds
tell me where i should take the new power for you

Refr.:
tell me why i should love you
tell me why i should kiss you
all this ignorance to me
tell me why i should be there for you


I couldn't believe this
you show me all your lesions
in this second I have lost my bliss
you told me about your obsession
tell me why you do all these things

suddenly you don't tell me something
you don't spend one word for me
all this ignorance to me
so tell me why you love nothing
so tell me why i should love you


Refr.:
tell me why i should love you
tell me why i should kiss you
all this ignorance to me
tell me why i should be there for you


danke

mfg

 

[desgraca]

Obsession


Refr.:
tell me why i should love you
tell me why i should kiss you
all this ignorance towards me ...wobei das auch noch nich optimal ist...hm...
tell me why i should be there for you

you wrote many letters
in ev'ry letter you told me how much you love me
you told me 'bout your life and about your fetters
so tell me why i should be there

In a dark cold night you told me about your pain
about your cries ev'ry night
all these morbid thoughts on your (brain) mind
so tell me why i should be the light
tell me why i should help you

Refr.:
tell me why i should love you
tell me why i should kiss you
all this ignorance to me
tell me why i should be there for you


kissin' your lips on a sunny day
kissin' your lips by a sunny way
suddenly there was a storm in your brain
all these morbid thoughts
all these stupid words you said
so tell me why i should help you

ev'ry day you told me about your wounds
ev'ry minute this pain inside my head
you couldn't cross your bounds also, erstens, cross your bounds sagt man nicht, zweitens, bounds und wounds, das reimt sich nich
tell me where from i should take the new power for you bzw. from where

Refr.:
tell me why i should love you
tell me why i should kiss you
all this ignorance to me
tell me why i should be there for you


I couldn't believe this
you show me all your lesions
this second I have lost my bliss
you told me about your obsession
tell me why you do all these things

suddenly you don't tell me something
you don't spend one word on me
all this ignorance towards/against me
so tell me why you love nothing
so tell me why i should love you


Refr.:
tell me why i should love you
tell me why i should kiss you
all this ignorance to me
tell me why i should be there for you


hm ok,,,,also hier stört mich irgendwie, dass es alles sehr sehr einfach gehalten ist, und dann immermal ein wort reinkommt, was klingt als wäre es dir aus dem wörterbuch entgegengeflogen, also eine ganz andere sprachliche ebene halt.
naja, kann man aber wohl nicht ändern, hängt ja einfach auch immer mit den englischkenntnissen zusammen.

was ich irgendwie bis jetzt bei allen texten finde, die dann so in die emocore richtung gehen sollen-
du redest immer von den fehlern anderer leute und deren problemen und deinen problemen mit ihnen...
emo ist irgendwie meistens introspektiver,,,,,,aber das ist wiederum geschmackssache.